Longing

What's wrong with dreaming? What's wrong with longing to be important to someone else? What's wrong with not being desperate? I don't like the world that we live in. In the era of social media we've forgotten about being humans. In the era of having friends around the world, we are lonelier than ever before. We're being prisoners of our smartphones, of our accounts on social media. I'd like to disconnect in order to connect. But it's not that simple. We're addicted.

I dream about spending a cozy, rainy evening being cuddled up in a blanket, lying with my head on your knees, reading some interesting book and drinking hot chocolate. I dream about glancing at you from time to time, smiling to myself. 

- What? - he smiled looking at her.

- No, nothing. - she smiled and continued reading.

I dream about a cozy, rainy evening... Turning off my phone. Turning off my computer. Disconnecting. Not thinking about tomorrow, just living here and now. I dream about relaxing from a constant fight and taking a deep breath. I dream about being happy without hearing You're so young, you have time! all the time... you have no idea how irritating that is.

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listening to: Perrin Lamb - Everyone's Got Something

Dreaming Alone

Sit next to me. Just relax. Let us talk. There is nothing better than this. I wish I could just forget the time while talking to you. Sitting somewhere on a bench, drinking coffee. I wish I could laugh, I wish I could glance at you and smile. I don't need anything grand, I don't believe in fairy tales anymore. All I need are these little things. They make the world more colourful and beautiful.

I stopped answering questions that begin with what if... Theres is no what if. There is here and now. And here and now is completely different. That doesn't mean that I stopped dreaming, no. I just know my place and I dream alone. Nobody can hurt me in my dreams. Nobody can get angry at me there. Nobody can misunderstand.

I'd love to hold you close, tonight and always

I'd love to wake up next to you.

And what is wrong with that? There is a lot of happiness in that scenario, but I'd be content with just sitting and drinking coffee. Taking just 5, maybe 10 minutes of your time, and then just saying bye with a smile. I'm happy when you're happy. I'm used to my role as a supporter. I just need to smile, ensure you that I'm happy, and just forget.

I'm a coward. I wish I had more guts. I wish I did not feel the urge to run away.

I wish people didn't change me.

listening to: Zayn - Pillow Talk

Good Luck

First of all, I would like to say sorry for not writing anything these past weeks. A lot of things happened and I didn't have time to just sit and write. And I don't like to write quickly. I prefer to sit down and write... for an hour straight, even if it ends up in few sentences. And besides, let's be honest, 2016 doesn't start in the best way. For lots of us.

What you did to me, I'll do to you.

My trip to Cracow was a success. It was the best decision that I made in December. I ran away from my problems here, I let go of things that just hurt me. And I don't care anymore. Again. But I've learnt that it's better this way. I'm not going to be the person who always has to do her best, when the other one does nothing. It's not how things work, or maybe it is how it works in this century. I don't like it so I'm not going to follow these steps.

Be happy. I know I'm going to be.

I wish all the best to the people who were once close to me, but with whom I lost contact. It's not like I hate them, although there are people who will think that, it's just that our ways no longer go in the same direction. Good luck.

listening to: Eagles - Hotel California