Sexuality

Body. Muscles. Touch. Whisper. Kiss.

People are weird. Acting all innocent while being in a bigger group, being hypocrites. Don't talk about it like that in a daylight... Hiding their thoughts from each other, trying to look good in other person's eyes. And yet they don't have any problem to come up with lies and spread them among themselves. Is it in human's nature to gossip?

I don't know why but it's always been an interesting topic that leads to rumors about me. She's weird. She's alone. She must be lesbian. Oh, I've been called a lesbian so many times that I've lost count. Only because I'm single. Well... I prefer to be single than to be in million relationships and change partners every month. Or be desperate to find someone so that I'm not alone, which only results in unhappiness of both involved. If I was made to be alone, then I'll be alone... living in my dreams. Platonic and unrequired loves are friends of mine. And sometimes it's much better to dream than to be hurt.

But just because I'm single, doesn't mean I'm weird or lesbian. Although I have nothing against being gay/lesbian/bisexual, you name it. Whenever I turn down someone it's just because I know that it won't work. Not that it happens very often. But how is it related to being lesbian? Or maybe saying that is just another way of making oneself to feel better, just like altruism? I'm so awesome, so that means she's lesbian.

Some thinks that talking about one's sexuality is a taboo. Some thinks that talking too much about it is a perversion. What's in between then? What's right? Is it all right to feel ashamed?

I think that if I am in a relationship some day, I'm going to be very posessive. Because if I find the right person some day, I'll do everything to make him want to stay with me. But the most important for me is to be loved for who I am.

listening to: Miyavi - Secret