Split Personality

I have so many ideas in my head... sometimes it feels like I have another personality living inside of me. And maybe not just one. My brain creates different people, living in different countries, talking in different languages, and then puts them in different situations. And that's how something new is born. Sometimes I like to use these scenarios in rpgs, sometimes I write a short story, sometimes I forget about them. But it's amazing how it affects my mood and my opinion about different things.

Apart from that, I'm being shaped as a human being by all the people that I meet in my life. They have an influence on me, they leave beautiful memories within me and sometimes all they leave behind are scars... deep enough to hurt for the rest of my life. Sometimes I feel like I put a different mask on my face depending on the person I'm talking to. Am I two-faced then? Million-faced maybe? Where's the real me? Will there be a time when I'll be able to show the real me in front of the others? Will there be a person who will give me a hand and help me up?

I'm not saying I'm depressed and sad. No, I enjoy my life. I do what I like, I have some real friends that are always there when I need them. Sometimes I feel lonely, but don't we all? Being alone becomes tougher and tougher... And sometimes I feel like a looser too. Because sometimes, no matter what I do, I fail. And if it happens too many times, believe me, one starts to feel frustrated and demotivated. Like just... fuck it.

What to do then? Nothing. Life is still going on. You just have to show that you're strong enough to persevere through all the hardships. I grit my teeth and go on. Some day all of the hardships that I faced will pay off. Life is not only about drowning.

Off topic: When I'm done with all my assignments, I'm going to watch Bandage, one of the movies that I really like - even if it's very specific. If anyone wonders, the gif above is from this movie. Watch it if you like japanese movies with a slow and steady action, where the feelings are more important then the actual plot.

listening to: LANDS - Genki perfect issue